THE MIRACLE OF NO MIRACLES

Dealing with life as a predictable occurrence and not always to seek a display of fireworks. Looking for a miracle in everything and having miracles happen constantly is just not a natural occurrence. If one sees each daily occurrence as a norm and not a miracle, one is in a world of realness and not in a world of extremeness, and this contrast to be without miracles will lead us to appreciate real miracles that much more when they happen and when we do not expect them or look for them.

Miracles can and do exist. It can be a miracle to see life as having times when there are no miracles; to see life as a series of expected happenings, as results of normal situations, a+b=c.

Everyday presents itself with happenings and those happenings are not always miracles. We can turn lemons into lemonade or simply leave lemons as they are, to not attempt to change our environment but instead to live with it, to live besides it, to accept our lot in life and not to pretend it is what it isn't. To just be and to exist in truthfulness and honesty and to accept what is and appreciate that some of life is not a miracle--thanking G-d for life's sameness, mundaneness, and steady regularity.

This way we can appreciate a miracle when it happens and this will really be a true and exciting thrill.

STRONG LIKE BULL ON A SUNDAY

Sunday morning strength, feeling muscles rippling, breathing deeply, legs calves flexing, standing during the Amidah, moving my ankles in kedosh, kedosh, kedosh, tightening my tefillin around my left arm like a horse's bridle, steam engines gushing and spraying, Hebrew chanting peaceful and enunciated with a wide mouth, every letter said, every vowel, every consonant, sounding rhythmical as music.

Strength on a Sunday after resting on a Saturday, Sunday a business day, a day of movement after a day of stillness. A quiet day, a day to produce, a day to work, a day to write, a day to study Torah--Abraham and Sarah and Isaac and Lot and his daughters escaped, survived the drowning and then the fire and brimstone destruction of the cities of evil. G-d saved them, the cities went under. We kiss our tzitzit and rejoice in Psalms 66-68 this week. A week of singing, of happiness, our enemies are wiped off the face of the Earth, and our families survive--thank G-d for this.

Flexing strong legs, tapping feet to Jewish davening, fed and watered, B vitamins digesting, full night's sleep, a bright moon but a dark bedroom, fullness, satisfaction, connected synapses of cyberspace, Torah portion for this week under our belt, fully in the milieu, ready for everything, prepared for anything. Feeling all the energy of the sun as it shines warmly and peacefully on my soaking skin, lotion softening, heart of compassion, studying, teaching, performing mitzvoth.  

THE LUCKY SHABBAT BRIDE

Prayers answered, tides changed, winds blew the other way, rain did not whet, cold did not freeze, heat did not scorch.

Ran with the cowboys, wishes came true, no worries or complaints, nothing taking me down.

Wicked persecuted, hate disappeared, winning the battle, brutal wars no more.

Sunlight from window, water cooling throat, scented lotions smelling as flowers, kindness within--solidly, firmly, securely.

 Small stones not heavy as rocks.

Music blaring, becoming delightful, songs keep comin'.

Feathers in my cap, no holes in my shoes that cannot be filled.

Sandy beaches exciting and as calming as couches.

Lake Michigan water waves as friends, wildlife listening as I dance, softness in pillows when I want to sleep.

Dreams not nightmares, nighttime blankets warmer, food tastier, breathing easier.

Shabbat Shalom's bride will be mine.

THE MIRACLE OF EATING KOSHER FOODS

It is a miracle to be eating kosher foods. To get 3 kosher meals per day, and have each meat meal 4 hours apart from a dairy meal. It is a miracle to eat all kosher snacks in between meals. It is miracle to know that the cow that made our hamburger was not killed in a manner that caused it pain. That the slaughtering process was humane and the process is being inspected by Rabbis regularly.

It is a miracle to know that a blessing was said at the cow's time of death, so that the cow's soul could be elevated in our bodies at the time we eat it and digest it.

It is a miracle to know that there was no pork at all anywhere in the facility of the slaughtering house. It is a miracle to be able to trust this, to feel like it is all bona fide. To know that there will not be a speck of impurity in what you are about to eat, that there is no temptation to resist, that it is all true and good.

It is a miracle to find a hechsher, a marked symbol of kosher food, on a package. It is a miracle to know what is kosher and what is not, whether it is marked with a hechsher or not.

It is a miracle to eat an egg that is not a fertile embryo. Where hens and roosters do not come in contact, a pure henhouse with only hens living together--no spot of blood in the yolk. A pure and kosher egg.

It is a miracle to count on this, to have it available. It needs to become more available, more widespread, having more grocery stores participate in the stocking of kosher foods and kosher meats. It is a miracle when a grocer can say he sells kosher foods. He will truly be rewarded unlike his competitor who does not stock them. G-d sees all, and rewards the righteous, we can believe this.

 Enjoy your miracles as you eat your kosher foods. Serve them to your friends. And be joyous in knowing your spiritual state will be elevated, and that you are enjoying a heaven on Earth.

THE MIRACLE OF MORNING COFFEE

Moving my tongue around the inside of my mouth, tasting the last drops of a delicious deeply strongly brewed cup of hot morning coffee. A cup of coffee like no other, fuel for my fires, complete satisfaction from the darkness of the coffee bean lightened up with a swish of non-dairy creamer, stirred around, and covered inside a Styrofoam cup with a plastic lid.

Every dear morning I drink this brew, not a witch's brew, but an athlete winner's energy drink, some caffeine but not too much. Stirring it around and around and watching the creamer dissolve in the blackness turning it to a light brown, like the skin of a South American native. Aaaahhh... coffee, not to have to do without you, you my dearest are my warmth in the morning, my buzz before I start my work, my inhalation, my every wish, my good feeling.

Coffee, I will call you my closest friend, as you are always there for me. The after-taste has completely encompassed me in rejoicing. I had what I needed and I can have it again. Every morning you are there for me, and everyday I love you, not taking you for granted. Thank you, Mr. Coffee, I will drink you again and again.

HANDS CLAPPING AND DRUMS BEATING--SONGS SINGING

It is a miracle to be in the middle of merry-making, to be an observer and participant in a world of dancing and clapping. Microphones everywhere and everyone gets to sing in them. Hearing singing loudly, everyone knowing the right words to the songs, everyone getting a chance to belt out a melody.

Electronic speakers tuned loudly, vibrating and making noise, but noise that is pleasing to the ears. Everyone united in song, songs we have all heard before, hand clapping, foot stepping, sweet soprano voices complemented by bass and tenor voices--everyone singing, no one exempt.

Everyone is heard and everyone gets a chance to express  him/herself. Music that everyone likes, tunes that are considered popular and are well-known, heard before many times and are all inclusive.

No one has to be silent, everyone can sing it out, needing no one's approval, not being judged, no one is valued as better than anyone else, everyone is accepted and no one is left out. Singing is for all--connection with beautiful sounds-a glorious world where everyone in it is family. Clap your hands and ring out the tambourines, pound on the drums and get well deserved attention. Music is for all.

THE MIRACLE OF A SEPHIROT BALANCE

Communing with the greatest G-d in the 2,000 universes that are all around us, far from us, in the midst of us. Touching pearly white desk table tops, gazing at bright yellow barrier walls. Lightness in my body coming from all over: lamps and windows, soft white light, yellow light, light with a blue tinge: warmth, nurturing.

When we have a need, our needs can be overcome and we then become sated. In a state of unrest, soon to be sated again. Searching and trying to find, searching ending and finding taking place, never short, always fulfilled as happiness is within, not caused by an external environment. Happy with one's lot.

Going nowhere, not needing to get anywhere, not needing to be in a different place, not making a change, not traveling, not suffering upheavals, settled. Always moving in a Hebrew chant, a Cantor's voice resounding indefinitely, always singing. Dancing as I step--shomer shomer goy echad. Knowing the Hebrew words, memorization. The holy Cantor is singing to me, his voice calms like lake water, excites like lava from a volcano, balances like a scale bouncing from side to side, coming clear to me with an answer to every question.

Sephirot completed. All points in action. Feeling their significance, going with their flow. Numbers increasing as wealth becomes inconsequential, needing less, so having more. A little bit goes a long way. Not allowing another to be a judge, always being one's own leader, never floating on the sea without a paddle, bravely diving into deep waters and swallowing salt. Not a dead sea.

Another day, another dollar, another time to rejoice and be thankful for everything that comes  along. Justice will be had, goodness will abound. Following your own heart, your own mind, and slowly but surely being one with the music. Improving a little bit everyday, in areas where you not others want to see improvement. Everyday improve a little bit more, so perfection will be near in sight, and as a reward you will enjoy a reaping of a healthy harvest as an autumn gift from The Almighty and eat and drink to content.

DAVENING DEEPLY ON A SUNDAY MORNING

It is a miracle to soar into the Heavens each morning because I daven with a Cantor to the prayers/blessings in the Jewish Conservative Siddur: Sim Shalom. Gadol which means great. Kadosh, kadosh, kadosh, which means holy, holy, holy. Having the Cantor's voice penetrate my very being, soothing me, forcing out all impurities and any evil. The Hebrew chant vibrates my bones, as I cry "Hashkivenu, Adonai!"--and the Cantor leads me in my chant: strongly, fully, consistently. Sweetly we sing together, and our "incantations" purify my mind, soul, and my heart. The steady rhythmical beat of the chanting keeps me steady on my feet, but humble too, as I lean on only one leg during the Amidah--keeping in tune with the universe as a member of the world, being devoted to its improvement.

This davening is miraculous! All it takes is daily meditation and prayer to keep a  person on track with involvement in goodness through praising the Divine. I thank the Cantor with his miraculously beautiful voice for taking me by the hand and guiding me through the holiness of this world--the great integrity of his voice being a sign from G-d--as my voice chimes in with his and we become one as our voices combine and intertwine, becoming one with G-d, with the one and only one G-d: HASHEM.

THE JOY OF LISTENING TO THE RADIO

Sounds of rock n' roll streaming out of a speaker into headphones into my pulsating ears, eardrums beating back and forth, rockin', taking dancing steps, high kicks Russian-style, liking it all, lovin' it all, making music with my radio, a connection with others who are also listening too.

A radio to keep me company, tied around my arm, trippin', dippin', tickling me and causing stimulating sensations. A sound of melody, a sound of beating drums, percussion, bass and treble adjustments.

A tuner to change the stations, a memory to lock in the stations of your preference, loud screaming voices that yell out words to get attention, steppin' out, steppin' in, a great gratifying experience.

Disc jockeys sweetly talking into my ear, a familiar voice, a word meant to make my day more joyous, a star who loves to excite his/her audience, a lot of highs, a thrill just a radio station away.

Deep breathing and a rush, heart palpitations and tapping feet and fingers, a time to get involved, a time to listen and to be entertained, a time to have fun. My radio: my friend.

THE BEAUTIFUL HEBREW SOUNDS OF SHABBAT SHALOM

Exchanging a greeting with a fellow Jew, a greeting of "Shabbat Shalom." Hearing the Hebrew sounds of the SH sound, like a whisper into my ear, a greeting of community, a mutual wish for one another to have peace, to feel the appearance of the Shekinah as two Jews come together to wish each other a Shabbat Shalom, a Sabbath of Peace, a wonderful Jewish Holy Day, Holiday, that comes once a week.

To be part of a whole, to feel a unity, to be near a Sanctuary, to have someone follow your lead, to have another fully accept you, to be in unison, to be in tune, to genuinely want someone else to have a day of good happenings, a day they can remember, a day when all creation stops, a day when all rest.

A day of sunshine or rain to conquer thirst, a day to lay down on a couch, a day to study Torah, a day to sing in tropes, a day to have joyousness, a day to rejoice, a day to praise HASHEM, a day of chanting, of connecting with other Jews: a day--of Shabbat Shalom.

THE RAINBOW IS THE SIGNATURE TO A COVENANT OF PEACE

A rainbow appears like a streak of lofty diffused misty molecules of floating colors all together in a designated order for us to see in the sky to remember the Covenant G-d made with us: that G-d would never destroy the world again with a flood or any other catastrophe that would put an end to human and animal and plant life. This is very reassuring. But then along came Albert Einstein who created the theory that would become the atom bomb.

This rainbow could also be a sign of our covenant with G-d to follow the 613 commandments, one of which forbids murder. But we do have the formula to this bomb and mass murder is only a toss away.

Coming back to this rainbow, the folklore about it tells us that there is a gift for us at the end of this rainbow and it is a pot of gold. If we follow the 613 commandments we will be rich, but not necessarily with gold as is the folklore, we will be rich in our ability to keep the peace and choose peace, to stay alive to see the next rainbow in the clouds.

The rainbow will remind us about G-d's miracles, and our abilities to continue to experience these miracles, as we continue to see rainbows that should strengthen our Covenant with G-d as G-d also strengthens His Covenant with us, that if we do not destroy the world, He will not either.

THE MIRACLE OF ENJOYING CONSTANT PEACE

It is a miracle to be unaffected by stress. It is a miracle to enjoy sitting and doing nothing, to have a TV blaring in the background but not having it disturb me or stiffen my muscles. It is a miracle to have a steady musical beat and song in my mind and heart and keeping rhythm to peacefulness as the song permeates my being. It is a miracle to not care when someone tries to rattle my cage. It is a miracle to have the peace of Shabbat encompass my daily routine on a busy manic Monday. It is a miracle to have a Monday that does not cause an upheaval in my week and try to trip me as I walk. It is a miracle to take everything in stride and have the general flow of other's actions flowing with mine, and when someone does not flow with me, my actions cause them to reverse their halt and turn around and then flow with my waters in obedience and without rebellion. It is nice to have a smoothly flowing river without rocks in my way. It is nice to feel the spray of cool water as it mists up in my face and moisturizes my breathing as I take steady short breaths, evenly, and relaxed. Things are going my way and I appreciate every good moment HASHEM offers to me. Thank You, G-d.

A SHAVUAH TOV

It is a miracle to be alive and to have a good rest on Shabbat, on Shabbat I lay in bed reading coffee table books and sipping good ice water like it was milk from a baby's bottle. I did nothing except read and read Bereshit in Genesis and did not participate in any electronics usage, did not carry anything and limited all correspondence to phone usage not computers and only phoned my dear mother so did not have any disturbance to my Shabbat meditation or praying.

Lit a Havdalah flame at sunset on Saturday and it shone brilliantly on my fingernail reflecting the warmth of the red hot fire and it was nurturing. Spread the scent of the lotion of Cherry Blossoms, a lotion my mother also uses, on my hands and sniffed it as my besomim spices. How beautiful it filled up my nostrils and reminded me of my mother's gorgeous kind hands.

The good rest I received rejuvenated me for the coming week, and now I can face another day, another 7 days, and do it with peace like a treasure in my pocket, as a memory of a restful Shabbat and now I will have a Shavua Tov [a good week].

THE MIRACLE OF HAVING A HOME

It is a miracle to have a home, to be in a home where there are 3 meals plus snacks everyday, where my bed is comfortable, where there are people who are amiable, with a roommate who cares, with entertainment every hour, with computer access and Internet and software usage. It is a miracle to be warm in the winter and cool in the summer. It is a miracle not to be hungry at all during the daytime. It is a miracle to get sleep at night. It is a miracle to read good books and to own them. It is a miracle to have library access in my neighborhood. It is a miracle to win prizes at a Bingo game. It is a miracle to watch The Wizard of OZ movie on my home television set in a large dining room filled with people like in a theater. It is a miracle to walk next door to go to a center to upload my poetry onto a blog. It is a miracle to walk 2 blocks east and be on a sandy beach shore of the Great Lake Michigan. It is a miracle to see children playing games in a nearby park. It is a miracle not to need a car to get anywhere, access to buses and trains just outside my front door that lead to everywhere. It is a miracle to live in the Heart of Chicagoland and be with native Chicagoans, a diversified people, but who are all like me. It is a miracle to be happy where I am, with whom I associate, and doing what I love to do. Life itself is a miracle and it is a miracle to have miracles in my life!

A MIRACLE TO BE ALIVE

It is a miracle to be alive, to smell, to touch, to feel with all my senses, all six of them--to be in a world of the living and also alert in the world where the dead comes alive again in our memories. To be in where we feel all things, the bad with the good. A miracle to be in a world where yellow abounds like sunlight, a color of yellow and white with the bluish skies. A miracle to be alive, to be feeling all things, to have emotions, to have an abundance of abundances, to have friendships, to have close family, to have all the things one needs to feel security and the prolonging of one's life, a life where all needs are met. The needs of the spiritual world with the material world, a world where we are free to be you and me. A world where all are accepted, a world where we are all in heaven together seated at the right hand side of the Father--Adonai.

THE TORAH IS A TORAH MIRACLE



Burying my nose inside the Book of Life--THE TORAH--these days. No other reading is as good, wouldn't waste my time in any other book. The print rises from each page like a heavenly rain cloud and it then mists its goodness into my eyes as I remove my eyeglasses to see the pages better. Stories of incredible heavy meaningfulness, a good read. The names of the Prophets stand out as in 3D from each page, and their poetic sounds resonate like sea waves into my mind. I love to pronounce each vowel and consonant in Hebrew, the most beautiful language ever created. A language created to talk to God. Learning about children, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers. Learning how the poor and needy like Job become rich and successful. These are stories that touch my heart, glad to hear of happy endings for people who go through torment to come out on top--to get peace. Love to learn about prophesies and the wisdom of the elders. Love to read about Prophets hearing God's voice and letting us know what He said. Love to learn about the meanings and secrets of the universe--no other reading is as good. The Book of Life is a book FOR life, it keeps me alive and reading words that offer protection and survival techniques, The Book that saves lives gives me a reason to live.

THE MIRACLE OF FINDING A BARGAIN

Shopkeepers near the beach, all have a lesson to teach,
You give a little, I give a little, and the consumer gets a deal.

He sells it to me for less, but the miracle is that a "thank you" he gets,
Indeed he is getting more, because my appreciation is at the core.

Sadly he says his business knew better weather,
But he gives me a smile, that tickles like a feather.
He sells, I buy, and I walk home with a new toy.

Bathing suits for sale, trinkets, and jewelry, new items of quality with no foolery.
He sells what he can, it is like an estate sale sold by one man.

I offer him a sale lower than what is marked,
He raises my price a little, but still a deal I buy smart.

Walked a mile for a deal, stopping in shops along the way,
Finally found my treasure, it has been a good day!

THE MIRACLE OF BIRTHING A CHILD

 

Children, miracles, little bodies, playing, laughing, tickling and blowing soap bubbles. Youngsters, infants, diapers, diaper rash, who will change the next diaper, him or me?

Money needed to feed an infant's mouth, milk bottles, Gerber's baby food, little silver spoons, night cap, cradle cap, Johnson's Baby Shampoo, Johnson's Talcum Baby Powder, who will get a job to pay for all this, him or me?

Education, school clothes, new gym shoes to fit a growing foot. Dress up clothes for going out, bathing suits, a pool in the backyard, a swing set to play on, who will build the treehouse, him or me?

Clothes must be laundered, fabric softeners, mild child detergents, no irritation to a baby's soft skin. Laundry machines and dryers, needing constant repair, highly priced costly electric bills, tumbling blankets and winter coats at a Laundromat. Needing more hangers to hang up clothes, closet space needs to be expanded, who will do the laundry, him or me? Who will do the shopping, him or me?

Children are miracles, thinking about having a baby? Do you want to be a parent or do you want to have a parent, are you ready, will you ever be ready? What makes a good parent, a person who has been taught to be a parent by their parents, or is this type of person just a person who grew up too fast without having a childhood of his/her own?

Yes, it is fun to watch a child play a game, to cause a child to laugh, to put a Bandaid on a scraped knee, but when it comes down to it, are you really qualified? Should an unqualified parent be a parent? Are you ready to give up everything unselfishly and give it to another so s/he can grow, or will your actions actually stunt another and cause harm instead of good. It is something to think about, all the glamour, the baseball caps and hair bows, the trips to the beach and the car rides to school, the new shoes, the teaching and learning. Is this a job for anyone? Is it the job of the child to care for the parent? Should a child help his parent or should a parent help his child?

Soap bubbles, yo yos, dolls and children's books. Halloween costumes, candy, bubble gum, and toy guns. Children are miracles, little people, miniatures, dollhouses and toy stoves. Teaching a child to be a parent, needing a treehouse and a swing set, a big backyard, s/he needs her own room. Bills to be paid, cars to be fixed, computers to be purchased.

Parenting is not a job for just anyone, it is a job for someone who wants the job. Abortions and birth control, preparation, forethought, prevention, teen education. It is about wanting the job not being forced to do a job you are not prepared to do or do not want to do.

Children are miracles, let's keep them as miracles not as potential societal problems as unwanted children, with unwilling and unprepared parents. Baby booms, parents without spouses, children without parents, orphans.

The best form of birth control is teaching your child how to say "No." Teen education: Learning 75 different ways to say "No" and to get results.

TIKKUN OLAM; THE HEALING, THE CHANGING OF THE WORLD

Heard the words in a song on the radio:
"We Spend Our Days Begging, Borrowing, and Stealing."
How can a song like this benefit society unless we think to ourselves that we must change this, change these behaviors, not fall prey to them--stop the negative behaviors and instead start doing what is righteous: "Spend Our Days Giving, Lending, and Crediting."

What can we do to change? Give a dollar to a beggar if what you have are 2 dollars. Keep 1 dollar for yourself and give 1 away. Find joy in watching a beggar eat: if you have enough food for 2 meals, feed the hungry a meal and keep a meal for yourself. You will not go hungry, you have enough food for 2, so give a little food away--if you keep it, it will spoil anyway, because a person can eat just so much without over-stuffing himself.

If you do not have enough even for 1 meal to feed yourself, then humble yourself to receive food from another who has 2 meals and wants to give one away, to give you his extra food. The way the world goes around is by giving and receiving. Living selfishly or living generously, this is not a choice--we must and should pay taxes--so that the poor man has a meal.

It is not just physical property that needs to be shared, something for everyone, it is the way one person treats another: watch what you say to another--instead of expressing inner anger or jealousy, instead of trying to destroy someone's ego to put your own up, say something favorable to someone to aid him in his view of how to see himself: give verbal encouragement to another human being, tell him that you believe in him. Sometimes all we need is for someone out there to believe in us, to believe "We Can Do It." To give someone a stroke, a word of kindness, instead of belittling someone or doubting him, or worse yet threatening someone to get from him what you want, something that you are not entitled to get from him in the first place.

It is a miracle in my life that someone said to me today "You are a very nice person, very well mannered, I hope you have a beautiful day!" This person gave of himself to say something nice to me today. And it was said early in the morning so it could carry  me through the day starting me out on the right foot. If someone says "I love you" or even just cares enough to say "Good morning," it can be the impetus to change someone's entire attitude toward the world; and if everyone's attitude changes, then the world will change. This is Tikkun Olam--the meaning of these  Hebrew words is: "The Healing, The Changing Of The World."

A Wedding With The Shekinah

White and pink. Weddings. Baby blue and pink and whiteness of a pure cotton tallit katan under a white turtle-necked knit warm blouse, with a pure clean white Japanese-styled blouse over that. Jewish priestly garments, vestments, imported fabrics, silken scarves draped over blouses like a Tallit, over head like a Tallit, wearing a real Tallit with Tzitzit every morning with Tefillin. The 3-some of T's: Tallit, Tzitzit, Tefillin. 3 Happy Tav's on 4 Adar. It is the happiness of being able to financially afford to pay a half shekel for a stamp, a $.49 stamp to continue a life-long friendship with Her, with the Shekinah. This is all it takes, a half shekel. She is worth every penny and she requires no more, and I can give the Shekinah all my love! Halleluyah!!!!

Rewards For The Righteous

Miracles! Victims of glaucoma legally smoking marijuana as gifts from doctors, dining room tables set with the finest foods for the perpetually hungry, rainclouds drifting over one's head black as can be but we are not getting wet, sauntering to Shul every Shabbat only 2 blocks away and consuming large spiritual kiddushes. Snow falling temperatures dropping but not feeling cold just vitalized, water shut off from pipes but cup overflowing with ice water cooling my throat in the nick of time not thirsty. Closets filled to the brim with exotic imported fabric clothing garments fit for a Hebrew priestess, clothes not wearing out forever looking brand new, small white single bed warmed with a goose-down quilt eternally pure, warm sweaters of the finest scarlet wool without moths to eat them without mothballs needed. No bugs on the ground or ants crawling not any cockroaches just crickets calling in the night out of doors to lull one to sleep, no rodents or flies in the slaughterhouse of the temple pristine clean. The best books available, music turned on when desired and angels singing a beat energized now knowing which music when. Fur coats hanging undisturbed not stolen and brushed everyday like a horse, lotions of beautiful fragrances but skin not rough, shavers that stay sharp never getting dull. Lights that do not blind soft white in color and eyes soothed, computer access free never losing data, life without stress easy relaxing predictable also exciting. Rewards for the righteous!

Awaiting Rosh Hodesh Adar: The Coming Of The Sweetness of Spring

Slowly sky-floating in a plane onto a path tonight to Jerusalem to sightsee. Sitting way on top of the Wailing Wall dangling my feet down, kicking them in rhythm onto a huge beige stone brick that's flourishing with the growth of vines on the chipped mortar. Chanting: "...brei pri ha' gafen."

Wandering across the deserted desert into a crowded kibbutz, exhaustedly seated on a soft chair enjoying a Shabbat meal with temple friends, briskly breaking braided Challah comfort bread, smearing on the sap of date honey, sipping and gargling grape juice, singing simple poetic songs, and seeing a cooking campfire burning out back. Walking under 6-pointed stars of David, then squinting to see the new moon on Rosh Hodesh Adar. Smiling as we shuffle in sand in the new moonlight, moody with the miracle of happiness, awaiting the coming of Adar: The Sweetness of Spring.

Miracle! My Mother is 88!

Miracle! Silence, a lonely holiness, and comfort from the Almighty God, even in the middle of a circus tent; to walk and not to hear one's steps, a soft plushy red carpet everywhere, rolled out for royalty, as the poorest of the noblest walks on it onto a throne of dignity. Living in hatred of riches, earning money in a process that robs others of their money to fill your pockets, an ability to earn an honest living, even the poor have something to give, every shekel counts. If the poor pays a nickel to their Shul for the upkeep of the temple, that silver nickel counts as a greater sacrifice therefore as a greater mitzvoth. Respect the righteous man who has nothing, talk to him, for his words are greater than a man who tarries at business instead of Torah study.

Looking for lightness in a sky without a sun on a wintery day, knowing deep in my heart, that there is light even without the sun: there is the lightheartedness of my mother, as she skips through the tulips on her 88th birthday, enjoying every moment. This joy brings sunshine to my window, and keeps the light shining all year round.

One Wet Tear Drop From One God

The miracle of a good cry from a "Dearest Mother Letter From a Daughter," written to her from miles away, a journey across a desert, a land away from home, another time and place, not in Oz anymore.

A letter that pleads for understanding, binah, and chesed, lovingkindness, a letter that summons only one real tear on automatic pilot, stiffening the sinuses, a throat heavy with grief. Grief without anger. No way to come out of grief except with mitzvoth for a mother from a daughter, the true way to true happiness.

Anger purposely lays on the wayside so no one is to blame, not wanting to blame anyone: not wanting to see a dead body on a crucifix to cause sadness to cause a lonely "holiness," not blaming and then hating the Jews as a temper tantrum that would cause a revitalization of energy. Righteousness is being slow to anger, not blaming anyone, feeling sorry for oneself, receiving compassion, then hearing another's sad story, then doing mitzvoth for them and then feeling happiness. If there is any anger following my sadness to revitalize my energy it is at the murderers of the Holocaust and at the ISIS terrorists, the second generation of Nazis.

Old age coming naturally, the almighty One God bringing relief to a crowded heart with the holy aloneness after a good cry. Wondering when and where, I will see God's face again as He gently allows me to have one tear, and then comforts me as a She, a Shekinah, her shoulder to cry on, with a mother's understanding instead of having the sadness and then the hatred that comes with an angry religion that kills.

Shabbat coming tonight to increase happiness with the celebration of a holy day of rest, people praying for dead fathers and mothers, my mother is still alive to read my letters, letters of honesty: heartfelt and sincere. Letters to a loved one, letters in hoping God will keep her alive for another letter, another year, another good cry, another time to feel sadness, and aloneness, but without the anger or hate for another. This is true goodness, real righteousness. Hoping for another good cry that hurts no one.

Singing Halleluyah In The Shower Before Shabbat

The miracle of being a writer, an artist, a poet, like my great, great, great... grandfather King David of the Davidic Lineage of the Mashiach, without a care in the world, but with enough stress to tickle the creative funny bone created within a fairyland environment, thick stone walls circulated surrounding me to keep me safe and sound. Sound mind, sound heart, sound of music coming in chorus's singing all around me from temples to the right and to the left--east of me and west of me, north and south. Righteousness in gobs of Kosher foods, served by waiters and cooked by chefs, on the dining room table everyday on time, always... Companions are sorcerers, jokesters, prophets, shamans. Creativity coming in shofar blasts... the gift of a creative writer, writing as a savior for all of humanity, writing to entertain, to educate, to sing the Song of Songs, as "Halleluyah," to all people! 

Tikkun Olam As The #1 Method To Feel Spirituality

Miracle! Awoke this morning with a faith in God even though times are tough. Blessings automatically in pilot first thing in the morning "Modeh Ani" never will forget Him. Zohar guiding me, Torah showing me the way, sticking with my guns, as they despair and blame it all on the Jews. Hoping for a reprieve from the demons for loved ones, knowing their desperation must someday cease. Wars in families of coveting, jealousies, then theft, even murder. Follow 613 Commandments, not just 7!

How to become spiritual? At whose cost? Using sexual stimulation to get to God, or using a worship of the dead to get to God, or using Tikkun Olam and mitzvoth to get to God. Which method is valid, which method works, which method does not hurt another, which method is holy? Tikkun Olam, the changing of the world works for me. How to change the world, teaching the holy Word, accepting what we cannot change and changing what we can. Purification in foods, dishware, thoughts, actions, clothes, methods of getting to God. Sadness and mourning of those who cannot get there. Not going to worship dead, not going to "get turned on," not going to succumb to an unholy method to become holy. Not needing a mikvah, whiteness as pure as the outside snow, strength and security as strong as a tree, thirst satisfied even when there is no water, God is blocking all blows. Following 613 Commandments to keep afloat, even when they are not. Davening not meditation, Buddhism does not work for me. Eyes open, ears shut, shoulders relaxed, muscles and blood clean and holy, not going to let this change, ever.

Tu B' Shevat and Dancing With The Tree of Life!

 

Tonight! A miracle will occur! Waiting on miracles, gaining strength through relaxation to meet the spiritual increases, Tu B' Shevat will start tonight after sunset! A miracle of the blessings of the TREES.

Moses threw a piece of wood, a piece of a tree, into the river to sweeten the bitter waters; reading the Etz Hayyim everyday: The Tree of Life; sweetening my disposition with the fruits of Her labors; planting trees and printing books; book bindings secured with thick twine; climbing trees of the greatest of heights and the loftiest of leaves; not worshipping trees--Asherah is no more.

Trees come and go as I walk down the block in my residential neighborhood; everyone has a tree. My mother has a "Golden" tree. I have the rings in the stump of a tree chopped down: the rings of wisdom in an older tree around my middle finger, a wedding band married to The Tree of Life. Ringing chimes like wedding bells tied to tree branches, hearing the tinkling and dancing as the trees shade me from the too-bright sunlight.

Trees. I will be celebrating you all, each and every one of you: tonight and tomorrow. How I have always loved the trees!

 

The Miraculous Secrets To True Happiness

Miracle! Not dying before I can help someone! The struggle of a family of the Davidic Lineage, great families, living on, producing great thoughts, changing the world, others crying, looking for saviors, they want a Mashiach who must be from Davidic Lineage, they kill off Davids, names changing to "Dave." True Davids speaking about trips to Egypt, suffering with jet lag, helpers healing those who are suffering, they must take more trips to Egypt and then get out again. Living in an Egypt of its own. Israelites battling to keep history alive, bombs thrown on a country that keeps all the secrets of survival, books being burned, libraries laboring to pass books along, people reading secrets as God guides them to the information online. Billions of secrets online, who is the REAL Mashiach? Will you please stand up?! Let us know before they throw you into jail and destroy you?? Sifting through websites instead of flour dough to learn the answers, being blessed to know some answers before I was born: Love, Fear and Praise only One God so you do not break the Holy Covenant; Do not participate in pictography so that you can think; Revere both parents equally so you can believe in God; Love and respect others so you do not murder; Do not covet so you do not steal; Love your wife so you do not commit adultery. Is it that simple? There is more... Learn the secrets! And then may you live a long life! May you live until 120 and keep your loved ones alive too!

Monday Morning Advice Is a Miracle!

Miracle! I saved her life and she saved my life! Savior, "Healer" was her Hebrew name, mine is "Daughter of God," she gave me my name, a shortened version of the 72 letter name my Mother gave me, we have lost the 72 letter name of God, we knew it 5775 years ago, but now we use 72 shortened names instead, Beth. She whispered my name Beth which was soothing to my ears, as the "th" sound came into my hearing range like a butterfly wing brushing up softly onto my cheek as it passed me by closely in the breeze and tickled me! Hee hee! A butterfly in the Spring is like a vision of good times if one imagines this when there is 20 inches of snow all around you. Stepping in deep stuff, but imagining butterfly cocoons tucked into bushes that are hibernating and will suddenly come alive in the Springtime! Monarch butterflies are good, just as we of the Davidic Line are good. We have this in our genes, our blue jeans as we experience soft denim on a Sunday. Keep your chin up! Keep the 613 Commandments of God and wade through the sticky stuff so you can figure out what is good and what is not. She and Her are all over the "old" testament, we are Shekinah, and we are in power, never doubt the power of God or of a woman. Doubting Thomases are "scoffers" and that will only get you into the Land of the Phillistines without a slingshot or a pebble. Be smart: never discriminate on the basis of sex, race, religion, ethnicity, sexual preference, disability, age ... That is my advice.

Blessings Are Miracles!

Blessings coming down all over me: like gold dust circulating amidst the oxygen molecules as I breathe shallowly without effort; like chocolate drops lickity split--snorting Rocky Road ice cream for free; as a blizzard snowstorm I do not have to shovel or wear a hat over; as The Torah that is always open; as The Zohar that I do not have to return to the library; like feathers in a pillow without the allergies; as a present to my mother that has been gift wrapped by another! Soft snowy days, vanilla manna wafers for breakfast/lunch/dinner that come served on a pure plate, a miracle of miracles! My mother is still alive to talk about my successes! And to encourage me in all I do. And to care for me when I catch a cold. Blessings coming in from a megaphone loud and clear, it has been a good life and I am grateful to God!

A Shepherdess is Leading Her Sheep

Can the Torah come alive and be everywhere for me everyday?? "YES!" She said softly but loudly and it echoed throughout the hallways of my mansion. Pounding computer keys as her voice got louder and louder, coming in full blast with incredible intensity. Voices of women who have raised voices nowhere else. They cry loudly as they want to own something; want to have legal rights to be in charge; to rule; to be respected; to buy and spend and earn; to lead. She took her gentle but strong hands and tied the belt around the Torah as he had lifted it above her head, and she wound the scroll firmly, tightly, without trembling hands. The Torah scroll is safe, and is in good hands. We will read it again and again year after year. Esther is alive, she had concern about my family, her concern will lead me to that Shul again and again. Wherever the shepherdess leads her sheep, a little lamb will follow. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh...

Clean Hands, Clean Heart, Clean Love

Miracle! Hearing snow falling and beating on the ground outside like whacks against a drum skin tightly wound around a tree stump hollowed out by termites. Snow is all falling with the wind in an easterly direction, not Easter-ly (as in bunnies and colored eggs); but easter[n]ly as in Jerusalem, stern[ness]: east as in my aura. Blueness everywhere, blue scarves, blue shirts, blue designs, blue skirts, blue hats: blue but not as feeling "blue," not as Blues in music, but as blues in sky colors and ocean colors and Adonai's blue sapphire throne of God blues.

Blue blue black sheep, you are not really black, you are white and pure as snow. We all know. Take a look in the book, look randomly and be guided by God at all times. Walk in the wilderness because the wilderness is everywhere. One can feel the wildness of the wilderness in the deepest urban city and this is where it is all happening. Mount Sinai was a highly populated island filled with millions of angels. There is quantity in all things. Each flake of snow represents the intensity of the number of angels who fall from heaven each day. Falling in love with me. I am in love with every snowflake, every angel, every-thing, every-where. I am wearing a heavy heart, but at times it is as light as a snowflake, and as pure. Being chaste in all things. Clean hands, clean heart, clean love.

M&M Cookies Raining Down From Mountain Tops Like Gold Dust!

Was barking like a sick puppy before lunchtime, cinnamon bark from a tree stole my sugar sack and I needed to climb a tall beanstalk to find chewy beans: M&M cookies came raining down on my tallit as it was snuggly shouldered around my neck. M&M cookies like Gold Dust! Coins coming in the form of little drops of chocolaty goodness! She was walking by and I tempted Her with my open bean sack, sugary brown manna wafers, free for the taking. Giving as a mitzvah, giving M&M cookies away for free to hobbits as they pass by hobbling on 4 legs. 4 legs of a table, 4 legs of a chair, all the most stable of all numbers. Leah has 4, Rachel does not, but Rachel is the most beautiful woman in the world! She has M&M cookies in her bean sack, She climbed to the top of Mount Everest, the best[est] of all climbs, and also climbed Mount Sinai. She stood at the top of Mount Zion! M&M cookies raining from the crags of the mountains, higher than the highest: hold out your scrubby little hands and fill them with golden goodness. Chew, chew, baby's burp! Sigh...

Dreaming of Binah!

Miracle! Sugar and cinnamon-free, freedom forever, softly closing my understanding eyes, binah! Dreaming of binah! Droopingly relaxed on a dark cold Shevat morning, blood persistently moving strongly, full of heart pumping sure, gazing skywards towards a sun soon-to-be. Seeing the lightness, feeling the saturations of sensations, the yellow sun, the crimson beauty--feeling beautiful myself as they gaze. Sunrises come and go, always a new one, always another day. Looking forward now to all days, all sunrises, all sunsets, because a sunrise for surely follows a sunset. Before and after, a sunrise precedes and proceeds a sunset. Purple sunset tonight on Shabbat, blue new moon 3 nights ago, a Rosh Hodesh. A bright orange sunset coloring the sky with purples bursting forth in singing song, will be harmonizing with Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah as we play our instrumentals dancingly. Bursting forth songs of delight, sweetly sighing, carrying the bass aliyah tomorrow. My purple fuzzy bedtime socks reflecting violets the sunset sky will carry this eve. Wearing a purple beret, the royal color, as the great great great... grandchild of King David, royalty in bloodline, righteousness in ethics. Have a Shabbat Shalom!

Silver Spoon Becomes Golden Before My Very Eyes!

Miracle! My silver spoon was not silver, it was golden today. A golden spoon of honor like a baby's spoon that has never been used. It is not a secondhand spoon, it was clean and cleaner through Jewish purification ritual. Cleanest of the clean, this spoon was born of Mr. Clean and Mrs. Not-so-clean, but the spoon itself was extremely clean. Miracle! It had engravings of incredible design, and a curvature of a spine that humped it up into a dignified stance as it slid purified Kosher foods into my hungry but not starving mouth. I ate it and ate it and ate it, until the spoon huffed and puffed out of exhaustion. I was not tired, but the spoon was. I hope again for another spoon like this one--the spoon of my heart--cereal with fiber--approved by The Heart Association Cookbook. And approved by my sisters Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, sisters who also ate with spoons too. But their spoons were not as pure as my spoon, but their hearts indeed are as pure. Darkness in a skirt becomes brightness, as bright as a neon light--early each morning at breakfast time. Looking forward to Tony The Tiger tonight and my baby spoon tomorrow morn. A morning without mourning. Halleluyah!!!

Having the Strength of Samson with the Love of Sarah

Batyah the Israelite Priest[ess]'es long full raven black thickn[ess] of a lion's mane flowing down her back and draping delicately over her shoulders, gives me the strength of a mighty but beautiful warrior, peacefully breaking through barriers and knocking down walls that obstruct justice, but not breaking down fences that protect Torah.

It is a miracle to be born in a world of hatred but to want to love everyone. I have sisters who are now my Jewish kins[wo]men and Jewish brothers who are my landsmen, with the DNA of a father who was my hero: now One big happy family under One God. Still with love for the Irish who have hired me; the African-Americans who I have fought for; the Czechs who cannot relate to me; the Germans who would not have killed me, but now would. The people of the world all around me I view all the same.

A conversion to Judaism means I changed, and my love for Jews increased which means  I love more people not less. Everyone in the world who was my friend still has the potentiality of being my friend; keeping the old and making the new. How they all view me is in my control if I continue to love them all, and with this inborn love of everyone to ask them to love me back. Since I love the people of the world, it is their choice to return my kindnesses with goodness, I cannot force this, but I will try to positively influence the world through mitzvot. Doing someone a good turn may be rewarded with a good turn in kind, but mitzvot should not be done to get a reward or a good turn back, good deeds [mitzvot] should be done even anonymously to help someone without claiming something for oneself. May all people be blessed with the same goodness that I feel for them.

The Story of One Chalalah Who Converted to Judaism

 

Torah miracle! Change what you can change, and accept what you cannot change. Jewish Halakhah can be changed, but it depends on if the congregation will accept the changes. And it depends on if one wants to be the vehicle of the change. I am a Chalalah, and my Dad was a Hebrew Levi Priest who married a wife of a forbidden lineage, a Catholic. Chalalah is the term in Hebrew that is used for my type, as  the child of this union. I had to come to a realization that I was not a bat Levi, according to Halakhah, some fight over this and many have different conclusions, but I do not want to be the reason for the fights, the arguments and the disagreements. I want peace between all people. So I have turned down the opportunity to have the 2nd Aliyah and instead have chosen on my own, to go last. I now have the last Aliyah by choice, and I could have had the 2nd Aliyah by choice. I want to choose peace and not make a fuss. I know denominations have been formed and re-formed because of this disagreement to this Halakhah. I am proud of both my parents, my father and mother, my mother and father, but do not want to be the reason for a split in Judaism because of a split in a family. I now have the Aliyah of MY choice and my choices have all brought me the honor that I will accept.

Songs of Falling Snowflakes Early in the Boker Tov

 

A miracle! Newly downloaded Adobe Reader 9 software 2 hours before needing it, coincidentally or miraculously? A "coincidence" is just another word for a miracle! Miracles raining down like falling snowflakes! Dusting field grass with the purity of the whiteness of snow, as the chaff quivers in a cold wind that I do not feel. All the frigid cold is far away outside, and the nearby warmth is inside--pure of a heart of lovingkindness, a pure white color of newly fallen snowflakes, but not as cold. Warmth everywhere in my Mr. Roger's neighborhood, true friends in every protected strong brick house, close by down the block, around the bend, in the busy shops, in the studious libraries, in the worshipping Shuls: An abundance of great good people, good friends everywhere, a village, a community. A real live hometown! Townsfolk in the city: folks who are kinsmen, landsmen, friends, contacts. "A wonderful day in the neighborhood!" sings Mr. Rogers!

We Will ALL Have Bat Mitzvot!

My men in shining armor have all left, divorced, left alone, left with Adonai! Freedom for me in Exodus, men's voices not controlling anymore, lifted in freedom by Adonai al-One. Music is coming now in bass toned blasts of ecstasy, higher and higher, it is lifting me up. I am not crying anymore. I am flying free! Exodus is here! Exodus is the end of slavery and the beginning of fun! We are not doing dirty laundry anymore, we are dancing and the light in our eyes is glowing like Shabbat candles. She is somebody's baby and so there is NO ADULTERY. But,... her hubby is not around, I will glance her way. Just a quick glance--YAH! Better than looking through a curtain at some distorted figures of men who I cannot see. I will see Her, and She will see Me! We are equals and we support each other. We will drink cinnamon tea together and stop crying. Divorced! Free! "Girlz Just Wanna Have Fun"--with each other!

Wearing my tefillin now and will bounce up and down as I bow and lift, lifting with the Female population! We will ALL have Bat Mitzvot!

Cinnamon Tea For You and Her Every Afternoon For Mincha!

The Miracles of Cinnamon! Wishing to get to a store to buy some, snow blocking my doorways, kicking down doors to get to the cinnamon shop, out of cinnamon, jar is empty. Not going to run away to cinnamon hills, bringing cinnamon to my doorstep every afternoon! Starbuck's cinnamon shaker always full, tea for two, cinnamon tea for two, brown lovely dark-barked Tree of Life, Cinnamon comes from a tree, it is the brown bark--lovely brown-eyes in her reflection, every afternoon when I need cinnamon the most! My life has been saved by the Cinnamon Tree: ingredients in cinnamon are manganese, fiber and calcium--O how I wish for calcium! Not getting calcium from milk, or cheese, and certainly not from an oyster shell! Sitting tight with my legs crossed, relaxing them, showing skin, wiggling my foot in rhythm to a mincha minyan chant--singing with cinnamon everyday! Monday rolls around and She always phones me, exactly on the dot! I wish for more Mondays, more cinnamon tea times for two! Wishing to have a friend to drink up cinnamon tea, L' Chaim! Cinnamon tea is just for Ladies Only! It is our own ladies only mincha minyan but is just for two. We brainstorm as we drink up! She has a beautiful sense of humor! She has dark eyes like me! And dark raven-black hair! How blessed she is, how blessed I am to sip tea with her everyday. Protected by a STRONG motherly-type who cares. Wishing for my own mother, but she will do. She is a very nice person and she is my comrade, my kinswoman, my sister, my mother, my work associate--together we will do the best job in the world possible! Stand back! It is the cinnamon tree that is The Real Tree of Life! I will continue to love her every Monday afternoon, 1:45 p.m. for the rest of my life!

Humans Work During Daylight, Animals Hunt at Night

The miracle of an easy night, slowed down afternoon, before Mincha, blood not in a pressure-cooker, a world to oneself, isolation by choice, inwardness, soul searching and soul-finding, looseness, relaxation, contentedness, protected, sheltered, secretive, softer, kinder, open-palms upward, receiving Divine instructions. God talked to Moses Miriam and Aaron: God's words have taken evil, transformed it into good. Watching She-oxen plowing the distant fields,  reading the printed word, no desires, satiated, no wants, no more, having enough, satisfied with my lot.

Lot suffered, his wife had no name, she became a pillar of salt. Not married to Lot, my name is Batyah, watching  no one suffer, not turning into salt. Not eating salt, controlled blood pressure, healthiness, no sabotage. Bass chanting to my ears at night--sleeping. Soprano sweet singing during the day--working.

Humanely treating others as humans, treated humanely in return. Doing it my way: flexibility, forgiveness, pieces falling into place. Holiness a methodical method of meditation, relaxation, and purified passion. Passion to work when I am working and passion to rest when I resting. Evening it off in the evenings, spreading icing on a cake and not licking the spoon. In touch with the touchables and feeling warmth from skin; not touching the untouchables imagining warmth from skin. Always near the same skins, my [s]kinsmen/women, in sync with the hand washing sink: clean hands, clean heart, clean foods, clean fun--kindnesses, goodness[es]--all around, in all places: all over again tomorrow.  

Had a Break-Fast of Kosher Eggs

Another miracle! I had breakfast, breakfast is really break fast, or break-the-fast. 2 large pieces of Kosher French Toast, Yoghurt, Raisin Bran Cereal, Vitamin C-packed Orange Juice, and Decaffeinated Coffee and Kosher Skim Milk. Break fast fit for the faster, faster being "one who fasts." I am the fastest faster in the wild West! Actually I fast in the Midwest, in West Rogers Park! Which is really not west, it is east, east like Jerusalem, the Middle East, and east like as in next to Lake Michigan which is east of the Western Suburbs of Chicago. Any further east and I would be swimming! Because not only is the lake east of me, but the YMCA swimming pool is next door to the east. East, but not as in East[er]. Easter Bunny eggs are non-Kosher eggs, and rabbits are non-Kosher meats, they are 4-bidden foods. Eating scrambled eggs without a spot of blood in the middle, means they are Kosher eggs, unfertile eggs. Eating unfertile eggs, means having a fertile brain giving birth to more and more creative ideas, and not eating the aborted body of a dead chick. All's well, I broke the fast and will again have breakfast, tomorrow morning... 

The Miracle of a Successful 10 Tevet Holy Fast

The miracle of a successful 10 Tevet Holy Fast: It went great! Fasts are always great for me, especially when there is a large Break-The-Fast-Meal afterwards! Blood circulation brought low body temperatures, 96.8 degrees, had on 4 layers of clothing, and a fur coat and gloves indoors. It was a miracle how cold I got and how spiritual I got the colder I felt, it was an amazing experience, stuck it out till the very end, till sunset at 5:07 p.m. Started at dawn and watched it get darker and darker in the skies until sunset and then drank a large glass of cold water at exactly sunset time on my atomic watch and the water felt so good on parched dry lips! Chanted the Blessing as I was drinking water, and then drank a concoction of coffee and 2 types of tea mixed together to continue the body warmth. Warmth and more warmth, food calories in the dinner, calories are measures of heat. The miracles were the signs and wonders of HASHEM that appeared out the window of my dining room during the last half hour of the fast. I saw a reflection of an "Exit" sign in the dining room window glass with a doubled image that appeared as EX-EXIT. It was visible backwards as TIXE-XE but with the E's turned around, and it meant to me: "Do Not Exit." To Ex or X out the idea of exiting and stay inside where I live as it is the best place in the world for me to live! I have a happy healthy home and God wants me to X out any exiting, to stay living in my happy home and not to move out. Then I opened the Torah and I read about Reuben's incest with his father's concubine Bilhah, and remember how I read that incest causes homelessness and idolatry. I read on about how Reuben lost his rank in the family after this, he was the first-born but he never was respected after he broke the Commandment and was never honored again by his family after he slept with his father's lover. Then there was Dina who was raped by Shechem and her brothers killed her rapist in revenge. Then there was a man who could not stay in his home and he died in the wilderness, died out in the middle of the hostile wilderness. Then there was Jacob who meditated and when he was meditating he saw an angel in his mind and struggled with the angel and then changed his name to Israel. Then there was Israel who became blind in his old age just as his father Isaac was also blind.  So many spiritual revelations: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "Silence is worth 2 shekels." "Ignoring and forgiving are the secrets to a good night's sleep." There are ways to take action and to deal with hostile people, it takes work to struggle with demons, and to listen to angels, you can climb up each of rung of Jacob's Ladder higher and higher--there are 4 rungs, I am on rung number 3. I will climb higher--4 table legs, 4 chair legs, 4 rungs on Jacob's Ladder. 4 is the most stable number in Judaism: They are 4 me and I am 4 them, we are 4 each other. Do not do or eat what is 4-bidden, have 4-thought, 4-give, and take action and do mitzvot. 4 Keys to success: Being the keeper of the keys is a big job, but it is the best job in the world! So glad I am employed as "The Keeper of the Keys." Happy 2015!