The Swan's Protective Wing During the 10 Tevet Holy Fast

 

The miracle of the 10 Tevet Holy Fast is tomorrow, cutting down on carbs today, hunger relieves suffering, there is anger after sadness, and rebirth after anger. Rebirth not as "saved" by the Romans, but as a deeper commitment to my ancestors. Remember wading in puddles at Waldheim Cemetery at my family's burial ground in deep reverent mourning of my family who are all buried there together. There was a springtime rainfall there then, and I had my pre-mikvah in the pure rain in preparation 3 years before my actual conversion mikvah that took place on 26 Nisan 5772.

Grayer skies, fewer clouds, angrier Pharoah, darker sunless days in Tevet, greater commitment to mission, higher purpose, stronger goals, more rested moments, quieter silent reflections, building up an inward spiritual strength through fasting and Torah Study. Resuming attendance at Shul on all Saturdays, starting the weeks at Shul on Sunday mornings, tightening tefillin and draping tallit over broad shoulders warming my neck. The seagulls are circling overhead, but they are not vultures, they are my Levite angels, diving for fish and cleaning up the garbage as it is littered. Seagulls, geese, and swans: peaceful birds of grandeur, learning from nature, learning from the animals.

The Security of Retirement for the Wise in Years

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~Albert Einstein

Broken axe, peace at last. Having FREE-dom as a Bat Levi/Convert to Judaism: For dinner, it was a miracle: I ate 2 large fillets of FREE Kosher Breaded Fish, Kosher Stewed Tomatoes, Kosher Rice, Kosher Potatoes, Kosher Salad, Kosher Ice Cream, Kosher Hot Tea, Kosher Coffee, Kosher Juice, Kosher Silverware on Kosher Dishware. So much to eat, if I owned a belt I would have to unbuckle it. Punching extra notches on a non-existent belt, tighter than ever as Tefillin on my arm, gift of a free wristwatch. Not going out in the cold, always well-lit in the darkness on cold winter nights, learning basic conversation skills, talking with the nicest of people, non-existent "Yetzir Ha Rah," [evil intentions]. Keeping up with the Jones'es who do not compete with their neighbors at all, feeling good in a good environment: mezuzot on every door post, good feelings, goodness everywhere. People being cared about, an army of caring servants: pillows puffed, beds made, bathrooms cleaned, spotless white tile floors, all in a day's work so that I can have leisure and the security of retirement for the wise in years.

In Preparation of the 10 Tevet Holy Fast

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~Albert Einstein

Glistening shiny pearls like the inside of an oyster shell, having teeth of pure whiteness, no sugary candy to steal teeth from mouth, needing no dentists, no insulin, eating no processed sugars to contaminate the mouth, body, mind or spirit. Instead dollar bills collected to donate to the poor. Seeing shots of twisting airplane cloud trails in the not so far off sky, like remnants from shooting Independence Day firework rockets, piercing through clouds to take people to their destinations, immediate direction is forward and upward, a direct linear path straight up, a journey like an praying angel's ascension.

Coming down to earth before lunch, no sugars, gnawing stomach hunger instead, a preparation for the 10 Tevet holy fast that falls on the secular new year's day this year. Cutting back on foods to starve body so the body can survive the fast, not so devasting. Having hunger without candy, low blood sugar, hunger to change, to better oneself. "She drowned me and now She is drowning, and whoever is drowning Her will soon be drowned." ~Pirkei Avot. Swim And Let Swim is my motto.

Enjoying Xmas Without Snow

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~Albert Einstein

Miracles in my life, not understanding how God created me to be so happy! My happiness is a miracle! Happy, happy, happy! Seeing miraculous blue skies, strolling in parks! Happy! Listening to happy music, it is Xmas and I am a Jew, but I am happy on Xmas too! Walking briskly, no snow on Xmas, happy anyway--giggling to myself as I walk crushing crisp dead tree leaves, saying Merry Christmas to Christians as they work on Xmas, feeling sorry for the working class, maybe it is better to work on Xmas to pay for one's cake, even if all one can afford is bread. Laughing, breathing strong, vigorous activity, exercising on Xmas, listening to rock and roll music, eating Kosher Roast Beef with friends who are friendlier than family, and blessed to get a piece of Kosher Roast Beef with lots of greasy fat! How I love to eat the fat of Kosher Roast Beef! Leaving the carbs on my plate as a gift to God, but eating all the veggies, dark green nutritious veggies! Turning down chocolates, and sugary pie, no digestive problems to ache my tummy. Partying it up with the Christians who do not even know why they are Christian, they say they were born that way. Someone down the line turned against Judaism, generations ever after must follow suite. Keep your Covenants or forever hold your piece[peace] of broken cracked up promises. Promises that mean nothing to no one if they are not honored.  

Love, Honor, and Respect

"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~Albert Einstein

Having mentors in great people, hoping for a mentor in God, and doing what God wants me to do. Staying purified and healing when there are disappointments and diseases, avoiding foods that raise blood pressure, or foods that cause diabetes, moderation in all things, and to think just eating itself was an issue and there was not enough food to eat at all. Lived through some hard times, kept trying and waiting for God to take over, and S/He did. I am so filled with gratitude that I keep my purity and also my dignity and that Ginzberg Creative Arts and Writing, Inc. survives. I survive, and we survive, and this is a miracle. Doing more than surviving now, thriving and creating everyday of the week other than on Shabbat. Shabbat taken seriously, not just a time to go outward toward the appreciation of the lives of others, but also as a time to reach inward deep into my own soul, making sure my soul stays cleansed, relaxed, heart beating strong and sure. It is a miracle that my outside and my inside are pure, because I now know what it is that causes purity and impurity: my body, mind, soul, all my intentions are good with intentional purification of food, drink, soaps, behaviors, purposes. I want to just live and let live and stay in peace without using a supposed peace effort as an excuse to start a war that could hurt someone. I need to forgive and not be antagonized by wrong-doers, Keeping My Faith and finding peace in my faith, and allowing others to also stay with their peacefulness if indeed that is what they preach. But I do not see peace where there is hatred and war and all is said and done in a kind of purpose to raise one but lower another. I believe in equality between all people and all of us on an equal balanced scale, justice. Justice as seen applying to all people, everywhere. I will not be plagued with hatred, the way to stay away from this plague is to NOT hate back. I have peace and only want to share it. I hope the best for a diseased warring world, hoping one day everyone will honor each other. I support love, honor, and respect.