A Shepherdess is Leading Her Sheep

Can the Torah come alive and be everywhere for me everyday?? "YES!" She said softly but loudly and it echoed throughout the hallways of my mansion. Pounding computer keys as her voice got louder and louder, coming in full blast with incredible intensity. Voices of women who have raised voices nowhere else. They cry loudly as they want to own something; want to have legal rights to be in charge; to rule; to be respected; to buy and spend and earn; to lead. She took her gentle but strong hands and tied the belt around the Torah as he had lifted it above her head, and she wound the scroll firmly, tightly, without trembling hands. The Torah scroll is safe, and is in good hands. We will read it again and again year after year. Esther is alive, she had concern about my family, her concern will lead me to that Shul again and again. Wherever the shepherdess leads her sheep, a little lamb will follow. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh...

Clean Hands, Clean Heart, Clean Love

Miracle! Hearing snow falling and beating on the ground outside like whacks against a drum skin tightly wound around a tree stump hollowed out by termites. Snow is all falling with the wind in an easterly direction, not Easter-ly (as in bunnies and colored eggs); but easter[n]ly as in Jerusalem, stern[ness]: east as in my aura. Blueness everywhere, blue scarves, blue shirts, blue designs, blue skirts, blue hats: blue but not as feeling "blue," not as Blues in music, but as blues in sky colors and ocean colors and Adonai's blue sapphire throne of God blues.

Blue blue black sheep, you are not really black, you are white and pure as snow. We all know. Take a look in the book, look randomly and be guided by God at all times. Walk in the wilderness because the wilderness is everywhere. One can feel the wildness of the wilderness in the deepest urban city and this is where it is all happening. Mount Sinai was a highly populated island filled with millions of angels. There is quantity in all things. Each flake of snow represents the intensity of the number of angels who fall from heaven each day. Falling in love with me. I am in love with every snowflake, every angel, every-thing, every-where. I am wearing a heavy heart, but at times it is as light as a snowflake, and as pure. Being chaste in all things. Clean hands, clean heart, clean love.

M&M Cookies Raining Down From Mountain Tops Like Gold Dust!

Was barking like a sick puppy before lunchtime, cinnamon bark from a tree stole my sugar sack and I needed to climb a tall beanstalk to find chewy beans: M&M cookies came raining down on my tallit as it was snuggly shouldered around my neck. M&M cookies like Gold Dust! Coins coming in the form of little drops of chocolaty goodness! She was walking by and I tempted Her with my open bean sack, sugary brown manna wafers, free for the taking. Giving as a mitzvah, giving M&M cookies away for free to hobbits as they pass by hobbling on 4 legs. 4 legs of a table, 4 legs of a chair, all the most stable of all numbers. Leah has 4, Rachel does not, but Rachel is the most beautiful woman in the world! She has M&M cookies in her bean sack, She climbed to the top of Mount Everest, the best[est] of all climbs, and also climbed Mount Sinai. She stood at the top of Mount Zion! M&M cookies raining from the crags of the mountains, higher than the highest: hold out your scrubby little hands and fill them with golden goodness. Chew, chew, baby's burp! Sigh...

Dreaming of Binah!

Miracle! Sugar and cinnamon-free, freedom forever, softly closing my understanding eyes, binah! Dreaming of binah! Droopingly relaxed on a dark cold Shevat morning, blood persistently moving strongly, full of heart pumping sure, gazing skywards towards a sun soon-to-be. Seeing the lightness, feeling the saturations of sensations, the yellow sun, the crimson beauty--feeling beautiful myself as they gaze. Sunrises come and go, always a new one, always another day. Looking forward now to all days, all sunrises, all sunsets, because a sunrise for surely follows a sunset. Before and after, a sunrise precedes and proceeds a sunset. Purple sunset tonight on Shabbat, blue new moon 3 nights ago, a Rosh Hodesh. A bright orange sunset coloring the sky with purples bursting forth in singing song, will be harmonizing with Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah as we play our instrumentals dancingly. Bursting forth songs of delight, sweetly sighing, carrying the bass aliyah tomorrow. My purple fuzzy bedtime socks reflecting violets the sunset sky will carry this eve. Wearing a purple beret, the royal color, as the great great great... grandchild of King David, royalty in bloodline, righteousness in ethics. Have a Shabbat Shalom!

Silver Spoon Becomes Golden Before My Very Eyes!

Miracle! My silver spoon was not silver, it was golden today. A golden spoon of honor like a baby's spoon that has never been used. It is not a secondhand spoon, it was clean and cleaner through Jewish purification ritual. Cleanest of the clean, this spoon was born of Mr. Clean and Mrs. Not-so-clean, but the spoon itself was extremely clean. Miracle! It had engravings of incredible design, and a curvature of a spine that humped it up into a dignified stance as it slid purified Kosher foods into my hungry but not starving mouth. I ate it and ate it and ate it, until the spoon huffed and puffed out of exhaustion. I was not tired, but the spoon was. I hope again for another spoon like this one--the spoon of my heart--cereal with fiber--approved by The Heart Association Cookbook. And approved by my sisters Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah, sisters who also ate with spoons too. But their spoons were not as pure as my spoon, but their hearts indeed are as pure. Darkness in a skirt becomes brightness, as bright as a neon light--early each morning at breakfast time. Looking forward to Tony The Tiger tonight and my baby spoon tomorrow morn. A morning without mourning. Halleluyah!!!

Having the Strength of Samson with the Love of Sarah

Batyah the Israelite Priest[ess]'es long full raven black thickn[ess] of a lion's mane flowing down her back and draping delicately over her shoulders, gives me the strength of a mighty but beautiful warrior, peacefully breaking through barriers and knocking down walls that obstruct justice, but not breaking down fences that protect Torah.

It is a miracle to be born in a world of hatred but to want to love everyone. I have sisters who are now my Jewish kins[wo]men and Jewish brothers who are my landsmen, with the DNA of a father who was my hero: now One big happy family under One God. Still with love for the Irish who have hired me; the African-Americans who I have fought for; the Czechs who cannot relate to me; the Germans who would not have killed me, but now would. The people of the world all around me I view all the same.

A conversion to Judaism means I changed, and my love for Jews increased which means  I love more people not less. Everyone in the world who was my friend still has the potentiality of being my friend; keeping the old and making the new. How they all view me is in my control if I continue to love them all, and with this inborn love of everyone to ask them to love me back. Since I love the people of the world, it is their choice to return my kindnesses with goodness, I cannot force this, but I will try to positively influence the world through mitzvot. Doing someone a good turn may be rewarded with a good turn in kind, but mitzvot should not be done to get a reward or a good turn back, good deeds [mitzvot] should be done even anonymously to help someone without claiming something for oneself. May all people be blessed with the same goodness that I feel for them.

The Story of One Chalalah Who Converted to Judaism

 

Torah miracle! Change what you can change, and accept what you cannot change. Jewish Halakhah can be changed, but it depends on if the congregation will accept the changes. And it depends on if one wants to be the vehicle of the change. I am a Chalalah, and my Dad was a Hebrew Levi Priest who married a wife of a forbidden lineage, a Catholic. Chalalah is the term in Hebrew that is used for my type, as  the child of this union. I had to come to a realization that I was not a bat Levi, according to Halakhah, some fight over this and many have different conclusions, but I do not want to be the reason for the fights, the arguments and the disagreements. I want peace between all people. So I have turned down the opportunity to have the 2nd Aliyah and instead have chosen on my own, to go last. I now have the last Aliyah by choice, and I could have had the 2nd Aliyah by choice. I want to choose peace and not make a fuss. I know denominations have been formed and re-formed because of this disagreement to this Halakhah. I am proud of both my parents, my father and mother, my mother and father, but do not want to be the reason for a split in Judaism because of a split in a family. I now have the Aliyah of MY choice and my choices have all brought me the honor that I will accept.

Songs of Falling Snowflakes Early in the Boker Tov

 

A miracle! Newly downloaded Adobe Reader 9 software 2 hours before needing it, coincidentally or miraculously? A "coincidence" is just another word for a miracle! Miracles raining down like falling snowflakes! Dusting field grass with the purity of the whiteness of snow, as the chaff quivers in a cold wind that I do not feel. All the frigid cold is far away outside, and the nearby warmth is inside--pure of a heart of lovingkindness, a pure white color of newly fallen snowflakes, but not as cold. Warmth everywhere in my Mr. Roger's neighborhood, true friends in every protected strong brick house, close by down the block, around the bend, in the busy shops, in the studious libraries, in the worshipping Shuls: An abundance of great good people, good friends everywhere, a village, a community. A real live hometown! Townsfolk in the city: folks who are kinsmen, landsmen, friends, contacts. "A wonderful day in the neighborhood!" sings Mr. Rogers!

We Will ALL Have Bat Mitzvot!

My men in shining armor have all left, divorced, left alone, left with Adonai! Freedom for me in Exodus, men's voices not controlling anymore, lifted in freedom by Adonai al-One. Music is coming now in bass toned blasts of ecstasy, higher and higher, it is lifting me up. I am not crying anymore. I am flying free! Exodus is here! Exodus is the end of slavery and the beginning of fun! We are not doing dirty laundry anymore, we are dancing and the light in our eyes is glowing like Shabbat candles. She is somebody's baby and so there is NO ADULTERY. But,... her hubby is not around, I will glance her way. Just a quick glance--YAH! Better than looking through a curtain at some distorted figures of men who I cannot see. I will see Her, and She will see Me! We are equals and we support each other. We will drink cinnamon tea together and stop crying. Divorced! Free! "Girlz Just Wanna Have Fun"--with each other!

Wearing my tefillin now and will bounce up and down as I bow and lift, lifting with the Female population! We will ALL have Bat Mitzvot!

Cinnamon Tea For You and Her Every Afternoon For Mincha!

The Miracles of Cinnamon! Wishing to get to a store to buy some, snow blocking my doorways, kicking down doors to get to the cinnamon shop, out of cinnamon, jar is empty. Not going to run away to cinnamon hills, bringing cinnamon to my doorstep every afternoon! Starbuck's cinnamon shaker always full, tea for two, cinnamon tea for two, brown lovely dark-barked Tree of Life, Cinnamon comes from a tree, it is the brown bark--lovely brown-eyes in her reflection, every afternoon when I need cinnamon the most! My life has been saved by the Cinnamon Tree: ingredients in cinnamon are manganese, fiber and calcium--O how I wish for calcium! Not getting calcium from milk, or cheese, and certainly not from an oyster shell! Sitting tight with my legs crossed, relaxing them, showing skin, wiggling my foot in rhythm to a mincha minyan chant--singing with cinnamon everyday! Monday rolls around and She always phones me, exactly on the dot! I wish for more Mondays, more cinnamon tea times for two! Wishing to have a friend to drink up cinnamon tea, L' Chaim! Cinnamon tea is just for Ladies Only! It is our own ladies only mincha minyan but is just for two. We brainstorm as we drink up! She has a beautiful sense of humor! She has dark eyes like me! And dark raven-black hair! How blessed she is, how blessed I am to sip tea with her everyday. Protected by a STRONG motherly-type who cares. Wishing for my own mother, but she will do. She is a very nice person and she is my comrade, my kinswoman, my sister, my mother, my work associate--together we will do the best job in the world possible! Stand back! It is the cinnamon tree that is The Real Tree of Life! I will continue to love her every Monday afternoon, 1:45 p.m. for the rest of my life!

Humans Work During Daylight, Animals Hunt at Night

The miracle of an easy night, slowed down afternoon, before Mincha, blood not in a pressure-cooker, a world to oneself, isolation by choice, inwardness, soul searching and soul-finding, looseness, relaxation, contentedness, protected, sheltered, secretive, softer, kinder, open-palms upward, receiving Divine instructions. God talked to Moses Miriam and Aaron: God's words have taken evil, transformed it into good. Watching She-oxen plowing the distant fields,  reading the printed word, no desires, satiated, no wants, no more, having enough, satisfied with my lot.

Lot suffered, his wife had no name, she became a pillar of salt. Not married to Lot, my name is Batyah, watching  no one suffer, not turning into salt. Not eating salt, controlled blood pressure, healthiness, no sabotage. Bass chanting to my ears at night--sleeping. Soprano sweet singing during the day--working.

Humanely treating others as humans, treated humanely in return. Doing it my way: flexibility, forgiveness, pieces falling into place. Holiness a methodical method of meditation, relaxation, and purified passion. Passion to work when I am working and passion to rest when I resting. Evening it off in the evenings, spreading icing on a cake and not licking the spoon. In touch with the touchables and feeling warmth from skin; not touching the untouchables imagining warmth from skin. Always near the same skins, my [s]kinsmen/women, in sync with the hand washing sink: clean hands, clean heart, clean foods, clean fun--kindnesses, goodness[es]--all around, in all places: all over again tomorrow.  

Had a Break-Fast of Kosher Eggs

Another miracle! I had breakfast, breakfast is really break fast, or break-the-fast. 2 large pieces of Kosher French Toast, Yoghurt, Raisin Bran Cereal, Vitamin C-packed Orange Juice, and Decaffeinated Coffee and Kosher Skim Milk. Break fast fit for the faster, faster being "one who fasts." I am the fastest faster in the wild West! Actually I fast in the Midwest, in West Rogers Park! Which is really not west, it is east, east like Jerusalem, the Middle East, and east like as in next to Lake Michigan which is east of the Western Suburbs of Chicago. Any further east and I would be swimming! Because not only is the lake east of me, but the YMCA swimming pool is next door to the east. East, but not as in East[er]. Easter Bunny eggs are non-Kosher eggs, and rabbits are non-Kosher meats, they are 4-bidden foods. Eating scrambled eggs without a spot of blood in the middle, means they are Kosher eggs, unfertile eggs. Eating unfertile eggs, means having a fertile brain giving birth to more and more creative ideas, and not eating the aborted body of a dead chick. All's well, I broke the fast and will again have breakfast, tomorrow morning... 

The Miracle of a Successful 10 Tevet Holy Fast

The miracle of a successful 10 Tevet Holy Fast: It went great! Fasts are always great for me, especially when there is a large Break-The-Fast-Meal afterwards! Blood circulation brought low body temperatures, 96.8 degrees, had on 4 layers of clothing, and a fur coat and gloves indoors. It was a miracle how cold I got and how spiritual I got the colder I felt, it was an amazing experience, stuck it out till the very end, till sunset at 5:07 p.m. Started at dawn and watched it get darker and darker in the skies until sunset and then drank a large glass of cold water at exactly sunset time on my atomic watch and the water felt so good on parched dry lips! Chanted the Blessing as I was drinking water, and then drank a concoction of coffee and 2 types of tea mixed together to continue the body warmth. Warmth and more warmth, food calories in the dinner, calories are measures of heat. The miracles were the signs and wonders of HASHEM that appeared out the window of my dining room during the last half hour of the fast. I saw a reflection of an "Exit" sign in the dining room window glass with a doubled image that appeared as EX-EXIT. It was visible backwards as TIXE-XE but with the E's turned around, and it meant to me: "Do Not Exit." To Ex or X out the idea of exiting and stay inside where I live as it is the best place in the world for me to live! I have a happy healthy home and God wants me to X out any exiting, to stay living in my happy home and not to move out. Then I opened the Torah and I read about Reuben's incest with his father's concubine Bilhah, and remember how I read that incest causes homelessness and idolatry. I read on about how Reuben lost his rank in the family after this, he was the first-born but he never was respected after he broke the Commandment and was never honored again by his family after he slept with his father's lover. Then there was Dina who was raped by Shechem and her brothers killed her rapist in revenge. Then there was a man who could not stay in his home and he died in the wilderness, died out in the middle of the hostile wilderness. Then there was Jacob who meditated and when he was meditating he saw an angel in his mind and struggled with the angel and then changed his name to Israel. Then there was Israel who became blind in his old age just as his father Isaac was also blind.  So many spiritual revelations: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." "Silence is worth 2 shekels." "Ignoring and forgiving are the secrets to a good night's sleep." There are ways to take action and to deal with hostile people, it takes work to struggle with demons, and to listen to angels, you can climb up each of rung of Jacob's Ladder higher and higher--there are 4 rungs, I am on rung number 3. I will climb higher--4 table legs, 4 chair legs, 4 rungs on Jacob's Ladder. 4 is the most stable number in Judaism: They are 4 me and I am 4 them, we are 4 each other. Do not do or eat what is 4-bidden, have 4-thought, 4-give, and take action and do mitzvot. 4 Keys to success: Being the keeper of the keys is a big job, but it is the best job in the world! So glad I am employed as "The Keeper of the Keys." Happy 2015!